The New Teacher on the Block

A lot has changed from my last post. I graduated from college, moved home with my parents, and started my career as a second grade teacher. Don't worry, I'm moving out soon! I am the youngest teacher at my school and one of four new teachers. But the hardest, most rewarding, most exhausting change has been the responsibility I have been given of educating 21 seven year olds. Who like to talk. A lot. Nonetheless, my second graders are the cutest things in the whole world and I am so glad that I chose this profession.

I'm sure that the funnies will continue to flood social media all year, after all it is only day four. I have already been called mom, grandma, Mrs. James, and all of the other names in the book. But that is expected. So here are some hilarious things that have happened in Miss James' Second Grade during the first week of school.

August Brings Funerals:
Today I asked one of my students what they did over the weekend. He responded very casually, "Oh, ya know. We just had a funeral for Summer on Saturday. We all wore black and we had a beautiful service. It was really sad, but I think we are all recovering well." Like, WHAT? Why did I never think of having a funeral for Summer? You can all be invited next August when I plan the coolest funeral Summer ever did have. Make sure to brings some funeral potatoes and jello.

Armpits and Other Body Parts: 
Another good one from today. We were practicing counting by two in math by counting body parts. We counted by tens using our toes. We counted by fives using our fingers. And then we counted by twos using our armpits. Yes, my students wanted to use their armpits to count by twos. The rule with counting armpits was they had to make sure they didn't smell. And then after we had played a couple of other skip counting games, one of my students raises his hand and announces to the class that we could also count by twos using our nipples. Because everyone has two nipples. I tried not to make a scene and quickly changed the subject, but I have been cracking up about it all night long.

What We Can't Recycle: 
Last Friday, we had an awesome discussion about recycling: what can be recycled, how we recycle, etc. While talking about what can be recycled, one of my students raises his hand and says, "We could recycle our teacher." I answered with a sharp, "What? You want to recycle me?" "No, no, no. We would only want to recycle our teacher if she was mean. Then we could get a nice, new one! But you are the nicest teacher I have ever had!" "Nice save." I never knew we could recycle our teachers or else there would've been a couple that I would've recycled.

The Rewards: 
And then there are moments like when I asked my students what their favorite part of the first week of school was and they respond with, "Finding out you were our teacher!" or "Meeting you for the first time!" or "Seeing our awesome classroom every day!" Sometimes they can be the sweetest!

These kids are definitely keeping me on my toes, but there is no where I would rather be. I love being the young, second grade teacher, even with all of the challenges being a teacher comes with. I am being stretched in ways I never knew possible and I couldn't be happier as a first year teacher. Happy First Weeks of School! I hope your's is as entertaining as mine will be! :)

Life in the 4th Grade....

So... It's been awhile.

I totally knew this would happen as soon as I decided to write out all the funny things that happen in the classroom so most of the hilarious things have been forgotten. But that's what happens when you are in your FINAL semester of college, student teaching and trying really hard to have a social life and eat a decent meal every day.

I am now student teaching in a 4th grade class. Let's be honest, the 4th graders just aren't as cute and funny as the 2nd graders. Which is probably why I haven't posted in awhile. They are just a bunch of ten year olds that like to be sassy and are way too cool for their teacher. Boy, am I glad that I don't work in the middle school.

Macho, Macho Man

The first writing prompt I witnessed in the 4th grade was about cutting the school music program. The students were first asked to choose a side, and because everyone loves music, everyone chose to support funding the music program.... except for two. Each of the students were to come up with three supporting ideas for their argument and we decided to have them share with the class. Here are some of their answers:

"I think that we should fund the music program and cut funding in other subjects like P.E. and football because those activities can injure you and can just cost more money. They are both really dangerous!" In reaction to this statement, a student who supported taking away funding said very matter-of-factly, "Well, if someone knocks you down and hurts you, you just got to get back up and walk it off." He wasn't happy that someone wanted to cut the athletic program. Every time I look at this student, I just want to sing, "Macho, Macho Maannn" because he is so rough and tough.

"The school music program should be cut because it is boring and makes people fall asleep."
**cue teachers dying of laughter in the back of the room.**

"The school music program should be saved because if it leaves, Mrs. ______ won't have a job. And that wouldn't be fair; she loves music!"

The Crickets and Seagulls- a history moment

Today I taught my first full lesson in the 4th grade class and I was a little intimidated by these thirty ten year olds judging my every move. I was teaching about Utah in the early 1800's and how it was isolated from everything else. I asked the students what they thought would happen if the early settlers of Utah had one of their crops fail and where they would get the food. One student went on to tell me:
"See, this did happen! The pioneers had some crops one year, and the crickets came and started eating them! And the Mormons didn't know what to do because it was their only food. So, they prayed and with their great faith, seagulls came and started eating crickets so their crops were saved. This was a huge blessing for the Mormons!"

I didn't know what to do.

Gangsta

The other day, a little boy didn't do his homework the night before so he needed to stay in at recess to do it. I said, "Yo Dude, you have to do your homework!" "I'm not a dude, dude." "Yo Homeskillet, you have to do your homework!" "What's a homeskillet?"

I guess I'm too gangster for the fourth grade.

Laugh Always,
McKell

How Can You Make the World a Better Place?

Happy Kids:
This week at school, the principal introduced the school wide challenge of "7 Habits of Happy Kids" along with our school service project, "Kindness Makes Cents". We will focus on a different habit every week. Our humanitarian project involves collecting clothes for a school/orphanage in Africa and earning pennies for doing kind things around the school. This weeks "Happy Habit" was being proactive and choosing to be happy.

For our writing journal on Tuesday, we asked our students how they could make the world a better place. As I was walking around observing, I couldn't help laughing to myself. These are only some of the funny things that second graders can do to change the world:

"I can spread light through the world and be a good example."
(Isn't that a scripture or something? She is definitely attending Sunday school.) 

"I can make the world a better place by smiling, even though I'm missing a few teeth." (More like all of your teeth, but that's okay.)

"I can make the world a better place by cuddling with my kitty, cuddling with my mom, and by eating lunch. Because you doesn't love lunch? Gobble gobble." (Eating does make the world a better place. And who doesn't love to cuddle?)
"I can make a difference in the world by being true. Honesty is the best policy." (How sweet is this?)

And we can't even let someone else on the road during a merge.

(I'm not bitter or anything.....)

Cheating Mistakes: 

This week I was retesting some students who missed the math test from the previous week during our prep hour. While we were testing, I noticed that one of my students, Joe, was whispering things to my other student, Aiden. I reminded them that it was a test and that they weren't allowed to talk, but stood near them for the next question. After reading the next question, Joe began whispering again, but this time I heard what he was mumbling... "Cuatro.... Cuatro...." 

"Joe.... I know that you are saying four in Spanish. And just so you know, I don't think that is the right answer."

"Miss James, you can speak Spanish???"
....I'm sure you can only imagine what happened after that.

The funny thing is, is that I am currently teaching in the French dual immersion class. If they had been telling the answers in French, I wouldn't have had any idea what they were saying. Hahaha oh second graders. It was hard to get mad at these boys. 

Cowboy Counterfeit: 

Here is an update on the "Miss James is a Cowgirl?!" phenomenon that I posted on FB. After the exciting outburst from the class that left them finding out that I did indeed own cowboy boots, a hat and took riding lessons for a couple years, we planned a cowboy day where the whole class planned on wearing their "cowboy" gear. And of course we planned it on the day with the first snow fall (bad idea). Thursday I showed up in my cowboy boots and blue jeans, along with 5 or 6 of my students. And then there were all the girls who showed up in their brown boots that they thought were totally on the cowgirl level. And then there were a couple of boys and girls who wore plaid shirts for their cowboy attire. But that's fine. I totally wish that I would've gotten a picture. And I only almost fell down in the snow like twice.

Dodging a Bullet... Or a Pencil: 
This week I also got to be one of the students. My cooperating teacher was teaching a lesson that required a lot of partner talk and one of our students didn't have a partner. I got to sit in a tiny desk, with a tiny chair and talk with cute Chloe about the book we were reading. While Chloe and I were in deep conversation, my cooperating teacher asked a question and Tara's hand shot up, her pencil going flying. Luckily, tennis reflexes are still somewhat present and I was able to deflect the pencil away from my face. I calmly started using the pencil to minimize the shock and distraction of the class, Tara covered her mouth, and the entire class started whispering, "Why did Miss James throw her pencil in the air? Doesn't she know that is against the rules?" Basically, I'm lucky that I still have both of my eye balls and that I survived a day as a seven year old. Of course, I was the best partner Chloe had ever had and she asked if I could be her partner again the next day. It's probably because I knew all of the answers.

Sprightly Second Graders:

And finally, the funnest thing that happened all week. Every single day, Tyson (a very smart, cute second grader that I would totally want my daughter to date if I had a daughter his age) asked me for sugar/sour sweet-tarts. Every single day. I think that he just enjoyed my reaction and my immediate no that followed his bright eyed question, but he thought it was so funny. He would always put on this puppy dog face and say, "Please Miss James! I promise I won't bounce off the walls this time..." Yeah, whatever. But I guess I didn't learn my lesson on Halloween. When I finally agreed to his acquisition today, he was so surprised that he forgot to take his sweet-tarts and I immediately became his favorite teacher ever. Or so he says. Oh the immediate happiness that comes from two sweet-tarts.

I know that I have missed countless stories about inappropriate words shouted in class (in second grade, I know), face palms to the forehead (what were they thinking?) and waterfalls of tears (how mean can second grade girls be?), but those stories happen almost every day. I must say, my day job is way more entertaining than yours. :)

The life of a teacher. And to think that I am only getting started.......

The Little Things

I have been contemplating writing a blog for awhile to share the funny goodness that happens in the elementary, but I was worried that I wasn't the blogging "type". After thinking about it, I realized that it was worth writing all the funny things down to brighten my spirits when I have a rough day in the classroom. So here it goes.

Kids. You love them, you hate them, and all they do is make messes. I spend 7 hours a day, 5 days a week with 28 of them. And that's not counting lesson planning, grading, and the students' extracurricular activities that you are always invited to. I grade their papers, admire their artwork, and hopefully build their self confidence. I read to them, I teach them, and play football with them during recess. I am an example to them, I talk with them, and I love them. Why do I do it? For moments like these:

1. My sweet student complimented me on my hair, shoes, eyes, jacket, shirt and pretty much everything else I was wearing or doing on Thursday. She also said that I was the best teacher that is a student that she has ever had. My feel goods were definitely on a high. At least a second grader thinks I'm fashionable and a good teacher.

2.

My student wrote about How to be a Math Genius for the writing lesson I taught last week. Who, other than a second grader, would want to teach someone how to be a math genius? I wish that I would've read her book when I was like, in 7th grade. It would've helped a lot. I also love her second grade pictures.

3. One of my students has been obsessed with Men in Black ever since Halloween. He is always wearing black or wearing ties to school. His new obsession is hilarious and I try not to laugh when he comes in with a black tie on over his white tshirt. He also calls me Mrs. James which makes me laugh every time. I should be used to it, but I'm not.

4.

Love this for so many reasons. First, she told me that this wasn't a reflection of my teaching and that she just thought it would be funny. So I guess that's good. I also love her perception of bad teaching. And her pictures. They are great.

5. On Friday, a student asked me why I hadn't read Diary of a Whimpy Kid. Because obviously that is the most important book in elementary school. So... I guess I'll get on that.

Hope this brightened your day. I'm sure there will be many more to come from these exhilarating second graders.

Laughs Always,
McKell