Sick Days

I never understood why my teachers came to school sick until I became a sick teacher. It is probably the worst thing ever to go to school when you are sick... but I honestly think that writing up sub plans is the only thing that could top it. So here I am, sick as sick can be, and I went to school. And decided that this evening, I would watch a Christmas movie by the Christmas tree, drink Diet Coke, and write my blog post for the term (because I don't have enough time to write anymore).

THANK GOODNESS CHRISTMAS BREAK IS IN T-MINUS 8 SCHOOL DAYS. But before that, we have 5 singing practices, a gingerbread house making extravaganza, 2 school sing-a-longs,
1 class party, Grinch Day, a field trip to the care center, and a week's worth of lesson plans to get through.

The First Field Trip
Well... I survived my first field trip in October. It was pretty rockin' and I'm pretty sure I'm as old as the 2nd graders. We went for a hike on the Provo River Trail and fed the fish at Bridal Veil Falls. It was so fun to interact with my students in a place that wasn't my classroom (even though my pirate classroom is adorable). While feeding the fish, I handed each of my students a quarter to feed the fish. I told each student that the quarter was to feed the fish. One of my students turned and asked sincerely, "You mean you feed the fish the quarter?" I could not stop laughing and it is still a joke between us.

Mom in 2nd Grade
I probably have the best mom in the whole world. She is so supportive of my career and will do anything to help me succeed. I'm so grateful for her and everything she does. Right before Halloween, my mom brought the cutest vampire doughnuts to my class and watched the Halloween Parade. My kids had a million questions for her, but my favorite quote from her visit was, "Mrs. James looks like a grandma." My mom then explained that she couldn't be a grandma because I wasn't married and the kids began calling her Miss James' Mom. We love when Miss James' Mom comes to school.

'Murica
We have been learning about the different countries and continents. It is something that is really hard for the students to understand and I get a lot of funny comments and questions, most of which relate back to the United States of America in some way. My favorite quote was said by a student who is probably overly informed about politics and the government because his dad is in the army and he reads A LOT. After asking which continent we live in, he exclaimed, "We live in America... where our president hates us." Speechless.

Too Old for Their Own Good
I love when my students make comments that they have obviously heard from an adult somewhere because there is no way they came up with it on their own. One of the activities we were doing a couple weeks ago related to an activity we had done earlier in the year. My student immediately sighed and said, "This activity is just like one we had in the good old days." You are too young to have any "good old days". I mean yesterday you were like, born.

Dietary Talk
Kids these days are allergic to EVERYTHING! I have to always have back up treats for when a students brings in their awesome birthday treat and four of my kids can't eat it because it isn't gluten free, it may contain nuts, and it was made in the same country as dairy. While announcing the lunch menu one day, the kids began to cheer because it was Wednesday which means pizza. Suddenly, a student declared, "Well, Miss James, it is a really good thing I'm a pizzatarian."

Pizzatarian (n): someone who only eats pizza (thank you, 2nd grader, for finally creating a word that describes my dietary needs).

Sneaky
What animal do you think of when you hear the word "sneaky"? A black panther? A mouse? A spider? In the morning, I am often facing my computer when the first kids walk in the classroom. I was finishing up a last minute email, when I heard a couple of soft steps. I turned around and one of my students was standing right behind me. He was smiling, and stated proudly, "I was a sneaky little pony this morning, teacher!" I probably wouldn't define a pony as being sneaky, but if that is what he wants to be, that is fine by me!

The Aggies
I am the lone Aggie down in the BYU Cougar Territory. I live in Provo and wear my Aggie gear whenever I leave my apartment. I have my huge Aggie flag hanging in my classroom. I have a stuffed Big Blue that sits in my reading corner for every student to see when they go to choose a book. I wear my Aggie lanyard with pride. Every one in the school knows that I am an Aggie. So when I found out that one of my students had an uncle that played football for Utah State, I was ecstatic. I might even give him a treat whenever he wears his Game Day shirt. When he was sharing his autobiography with my class one day, he shared a picture of him and his friends at Merlin Olsen Field cheering on the Aggies. He described the picture by saying, "This is the Aggie stadium. We always pray for the Aggies." So do I, Son. So do I.

The Hair Dye
I colored my hair a couple of weeks ago and I knew I was about to get some gold when it came to comments from students. The very first question I was asked the next day was, "Did you paint your hair, Miss James?" She was very worried about what I had done and said her mom would NEVER let her do that. I received many compliments that day, including one that I think is my favorite of all time. When taking my kids out to recess, one girl said, "Miss James, why are you so skinny? Also, your hair looks really pretty outside. I think you should stay outside with us because it looks so pretty." I probably would've been convinced if it hadn't been 30 degrees in windy Spanish Fork.

Thanksgiving
The day before Thanksgiving is CHAOS. Everyone is excited to see their family and to be out of school. We were writing acrostic poems with the word Thanksgiving right before we left for break. My kids couldn't think of anything to write with the letters that they were thankful for. My example for them was that I was thankful for my "H"andsome boyfriend. As I was walking around, I noticed that multiple kids had written "H"andsome boyfriend for their letter H. I asked my student why he was thankful for his handsome boyfriend (just to be funny and to hopefully make him realize it didn't work) and he passionately blurted that he didn't have a handsome boyfriend, but that he was grateful for my handsome boyfriend. So funny.

Elf on the Shelf
The new trend in elementary schools are for classrooms is for each class to adopt an "elf" from the North Pole. I jumped on board and started it this week. After finding the elf the first day, one of my students said suspiciously, "This is kind of creepy... he look slike a doll, but he smells like the North Pole. I don't know what to think about him." How does he know what the North Pole smells like? I have no idea, but it is making him suspicious of my elf.

Its Hard to be a Kid
My students often think that they have the hardest life in the whole world (which can't be true because their teacher gives them treats ALL THE TIME). While doing their handwriting this morning, I heard my student mumbling, "Once upon a time, there was a kid that was really tired and had the worst life because he had to practice his U's. The end." Wow, honey, it is so hard to be a second grader. :)

The Crepery
We are currently having each of the second grade students give a presentation on a country of their choice. Today, a mom came in to help her daughter present France and she brought in her two younger daughters. While she was presenting (she was also making crepes for the kids to try), I was trying to entertain the daughters. They were a handful, to say the least. I didn't hear any of the presentation. While the mom was packing up to leave, I went and stood by one of my students and sighed a breath of relief. She then turned to me and said, matter-of-factly, "Just wait until you have your own kids, Miss James." I really hope I have enough practice that I can handle my own kids when that time comes. Good thing I have a couple years before that can happen.

If you made it this far, you must have the humor of a 2nd grade teacher. I'm so grateful, especially in this holiday season, for my job. It can be a comedy show, Walmart on Black Friday, or a classroom, all in one day, and I LOVE IT. I couldn't ask for a better career for me and I am so thankful for the things I learn about myself that I couldn't learn any other way.

The Young, The Bald, and The Religious

Wow. How has it already been a whole month of school?! Time is zipping on by and I feel like I have only known these crazy kids for a couple of days. I LOVE MY JOB. I love getting sweet emails from moms who's child is loving my class. I love having parents walk in and say they love my classroom. I love getting hugs from 20 students as they walk through the door to go home. I love when I ask my kids what they loved about the school day and they said they love how I taught them nouns, place value, or that they just love me. With all the love floating in the air, who couldn't love this job?

Over the past month, I've been writing down the funny things that have happened in my classroom. I've just been waiting for enough time to write my post :) After many people asking me to post some more highlights, I have decided to finally write it. So, here it goes!

Young:
My kids are young. I am young. We are just a young class trying to figure things out. Most of the time, I look like I am a deer in the headlights. But we all just act like we know what we are doing and we are doing alright. I think my favorite question I have been asked this past month is, "You are teaching second grade and you are how old??" or "This isn't like a real job, is it? It is just your student teaching?" I have been asked these questions by parents, PTA members, other students, my students, co-workers, neighbors, etc. etc. So yes. I am 21 years old and I have a full-time job working as a second grade teacher.

That wasn't very funny. So here is the good stuff.

Bald:
I have a Polynesian student who is probably the funniest child you have ever talked to. He has the best sense of humor and I love having conversations with him. One day, he came up to my desk and said, "Miss James, my grandpa is bald. (pausing for effect) But even though he's bald, I still love him." I tried so hard not to laugh at this as he left my desk, but I thought it was so funny. A week or so went by and when we came back to school the next Monday, the teacher across the hall from me had shaved his head. As the kids were coming back from recess, I heard my student telling the teacher about his bald grandpa and how he still loved him even though he didn't have any hair. We had a good laugh about his concern over the teacher who had shaved his head.
I met this student's parents that night at our school carnival and I realized why he was so worried about the lack of hair.... his dad had hair that was WAY longer and WAY thicker than mine. Hopefully my student would still love me if I were bald.

Big Ears:
Some of my favorite funny stories are of things I overheard while being in the midst of seven year olds. From, "It gave me the freaks!!" to "When Micah was my friend... (he isn't dead, he just isn't my friend anymore!)" to "Do you know what villagers do? They don't move their arms!" you never know what is going to come out of a students mouth.

Religious:
Teaching in a community that is prominently LDS is an interesting thing. It has its perks and it definitely gives me my fair share of laughs.

One day, I was at recess duty and we were admiring the awesome weather we were having as well as the leaves changing on the trees. There was a cloud that was covering the sun and light rays (I don't know what they are called) were shining through the cloud. One of the girls that was observing with me exclaimed, "Look! The angel rays are here!" The other one quickly yelled, "It must mean the second coming is here!" I think that being on the playground with my second graders would be an awesome way to experience the second coming.

Another time, when we transitioning from the rug to our desks, one of my students came up to me, looking very determined. "Miss James, do you know why Jesus is dead?" he asked. I was flabbergasted and caught off guard said, "No, why?" "Because he suffered for our sins." and just like that he went and sat down at his desk.  He was on a mission that morning to convert me, but what he doesn't know is that I'm already converted. It made me happy to know that he was learning some awesome stuff in primary class about missionary work.

This week we were learning about poems and we wrote a poem about things we love. We were brainstorming ideas of different things we loved when I called on a student. He said proudly, "I love my God." The class grew silent, but in my head, I agreed with him. I do love my God. And it is hard that we can't incorporate religion into the schools, but I think it is also a great part of this country. This country was founded on the love we had for God and how He blessed our nation. I am grateful that my school recites the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, and that it is in God that we trust. I love the little lessons my students teach me every day.

The Band:
I'm going to start a band with my students. We have had boys making farting noises, pencil tapping, paper ripping, singing, humming, and sneezing throughout this year. Oh, and I had a chubbier student who pulled his shirt up and was playing his tummy like the bongos. Our album is going to be called The Soundtrack to Our School Year. Look for it on shelves starting May of next year.

Breeding Dogs:
My puppy, Molly, is a reoccurring topic in my classroom. They love to see pictures of her and hear stories about her. Today, I was showing them a picture of me reading Molly a book, and one of my students raised her hand. The conversation went something like this, "Miss James, I was telling my mom about Molly. And she said that she would be good friends with our dog. And then we were talking, and we thought it would be fun if Molly and my dog made puppies! Would you want to do that?" "Sorry, we just made it so Molly can't have puppies." "Oh, that's too bad." Another student in my class shoots his hand up, "Miss James, you mean your puppy can't have puppies until she gets married, right?" "Yep, that is exactly right."

Guess Molly is going to be single forever, poor girl.

A Bug:
This morning, I was doing some work at my computer while the kids were coming in. I have way more boys than girls in my class, so I only had boys in my room. I looked down at a paper when I saw the BIGGEST, BLACKEST bug I have ever seen. I scream for a second and got the attention of the six boys in the classroom. They hurried over and saw the bug and began playing with it immediately. "Woah, this is the coolest bug I've ever seen!" "I think it might be a stink bug." "A stink bug on STEROIDS!" "No wonder Miss James was scared of it!" I told the boys that someone needed to kill it immediately who wasn't me, and almost instantly the boys started a "Rock, Paper, Scissors" competition to see who would kill the bug. Eventually the bug was killed and Miss James didn't die from the giant stink bug. I couldn't help laughing at my six heroes that came to save me.

The New Teacher on the Block

A lot has changed from my last post. I graduated from college, moved home with my parents, and started my career as a second grade teacher. Don't worry, I'm moving out soon! I am the youngest teacher at my school and one of four new teachers. But the hardest, most rewarding, most exhausting change has been the responsibility I have been given of educating 21 seven year olds. Who like to talk. A lot. Nonetheless, my second graders are the cutest things in the whole world and I am so glad that I chose this profession.

I'm sure that the funnies will continue to flood social media all year, after all it is only day four. I have already been called mom, grandma, Mrs. James, and all of the other names in the book. But that is expected. So here are some hilarious things that have happened in Miss James' Second Grade during the first week of school.

August Brings Funerals:
Today I asked one of my students what they did over the weekend. He responded very casually, "Oh, ya know. We just had a funeral for Summer on Saturday. We all wore black and we had a beautiful service. It was really sad, but I think we are all recovering well." Like, WHAT? Why did I never think of having a funeral for Summer? You can all be invited next August when I plan the coolest funeral Summer ever did have. Make sure to brings some funeral potatoes and jello.

Armpits and Other Body Parts: 
Another good one from today. We were practicing counting by two in math by counting body parts. We counted by tens using our toes. We counted by fives using our fingers. And then we counted by twos using our armpits. Yes, my students wanted to use their armpits to count by twos. The rule with counting armpits was they had to make sure they didn't smell. And then after we had played a couple of other skip counting games, one of my students raises his hand and announces to the class that we could also count by twos using our nipples. Because everyone has two nipples. I tried not to make a scene and quickly changed the subject, but I have been cracking up about it all night long.

What We Can't Recycle: 
Last Friday, we had an awesome discussion about recycling: what can be recycled, how we recycle, etc. While talking about what can be recycled, one of my students raises his hand and says, "We could recycle our teacher." I answered with a sharp, "What? You want to recycle me?" "No, no, no. We would only want to recycle our teacher if she was mean. Then we could get a nice, new one! But you are the nicest teacher I have ever had!" "Nice save." I never knew we could recycle our teachers or else there would've been a couple that I would've recycled.

The Rewards: 
And then there are moments like when I asked my students what their favorite part of the first week of school was and they respond with, "Finding out you were our teacher!" or "Meeting you for the first time!" or "Seeing our awesome classroom every day!" Sometimes they can be the sweetest!

These kids are definitely keeping me on my toes, but there is no where I would rather be. I love being the young, second grade teacher, even with all of the challenges being a teacher comes with. I am being stretched in ways I never knew possible and I couldn't be happier as a first year teacher. Happy First Weeks of School! I hope your's is as entertaining as mine will be! :)

Life in the 4th Grade....

So... It's been awhile.

I totally knew this would happen as soon as I decided to write out all the funny things that happen in the classroom so most of the hilarious things have been forgotten. But that's what happens when you are in your FINAL semester of college, student teaching and trying really hard to have a social life and eat a decent meal every day.

I am now student teaching in a 4th grade class. Let's be honest, the 4th graders just aren't as cute and funny as the 2nd graders. Which is probably why I haven't posted in awhile. They are just a bunch of ten year olds that like to be sassy and are way too cool for their teacher. Boy, am I glad that I don't work in the middle school.

Macho, Macho Man

The first writing prompt I witnessed in the 4th grade was about cutting the school music program. The students were first asked to choose a side, and because everyone loves music, everyone chose to support funding the music program.... except for two. Each of the students were to come up with three supporting ideas for their argument and we decided to have them share with the class. Here are some of their answers:

"I think that we should fund the music program and cut funding in other subjects like P.E. and football because those activities can injure you and can just cost more money. They are both really dangerous!" In reaction to this statement, a student who supported taking away funding said very matter-of-factly, "Well, if someone knocks you down and hurts you, you just got to get back up and walk it off." He wasn't happy that someone wanted to cut the athletic program. Every time I look at this student, I just want to sing, "Macho, Macho Maannn" because he is so rough and tough.

"The school music program should be cut because it is boring and makes people fall asleep."
**cue teachers dying of laughter in the back of the room.**

"The school music program should be saved because if it leaves, Mrs. ______ won't have a job. And that wouldn't be fair; she loves music!"

The Crickets and Seagulls- a history moment

Today I taught my first full lesson in the 4th grade class and I was a little intimidated by these thirty ten year olds judging my every move. I was teaching about Utah in the early 1800's and how it was isolated from everything else. I asked the students what they thought would happen if the early settlers of Utah had one of their crops fail and where they would get the food. One student went on to tell me:
"See, this did happen! The pioneers had some crops one year, and the crickets came and started eating them! And the Mormons didn't know what to do because it was their only food. So, they prayed and with their great faith, seagulls came and started eating crickets so their crops were saved. This was a huge blessing for the Mormons!"

I didn't know what to do.

Gangsta

The other day, a little boy didn't do his homework the night before so he needed to stay in at recess to do it. I said, "Yo Dude, you have to do your homework!" "I'm not a dude, dude." "Yo Homeskillet, you have to do your homework!" "What's a homeskillet?"

I guess I'm too gangster for the fourth grade.

Laugh Always,
McKell